Sentencing

We prepared ourselves the best we could in the month between the plea deal and the sentencing.  It was assumed by Nathan's lawyer that he would be sentenced to just time served.  The original charge carried up to 50 years in prison.  The plea charge carried 0-5 years in prison.  Nathan had already served 7 months.  In true Doug Warner fashion, the county attorney here in Scotts Bluff County failed to get me a victim's impact statement.  I had to repeatedly call his office to ask for it.  He finally had his office drop it by my house the Monday before sentencing.  I returned it to the courthouse on Tuesday.  His office called THURSDAY to see if they could pick up my statement.  I told them I was proactive and had already returned it, assumed they would have it.  No one from their office told me when or where to be for sentencing.  Nathan gave me that information.  And the time he had was wrong.  Thankfully, it was earlier than the actual time.  The sentencing was hard.  I had to sit and listen to Nathan's attorney say what a hard spot everyone else put Nathan in and it was a lot to ask of the man to care for infant twins.  No one forced Nathan to do it.  He was a fully participating party to the decisions that brought our family to Nebraska and left me working and him as a stay at home parent.  He had my mom over her 3, 4 maybe even 5 times a week helping.  I was helping with night feedings and took over completely on weekends and after work.  It was hard to hear the excuses from his attorney.  There is NO excuse for traumatically injuring a defenseless infant. 

Nathan was sentenced to just 5 years intensive probation which includes no unsupervised contact with Darius and Brenner.  The judge said his reasoning was that a max sentence of 5 years jail time would leave him in jail (supervised by the state) for 2 years.  Probation would allow the state to supervise him for 5 years.  I see the logic in it.  But it all just seems like a great miscarriage of justice for Brenner. 

I want people to look away from the sentencing.  Let that go.  That is a different fight and one I intend to help with once I have secured a life for me and my boys.  Focus on Brenner.  Focus on every child that has been injured at the hands of a parent and is fighting every day.  They are heroes.  They deserve our love and support, not our hate and anger directed to their offenders.  Fight the fight for the children effected by child abuse.  But please remember to do it with the love, respect and honor that these children show every day as they fight the good fight!

Summer

Summer was a crazy time for the 7 of us.  Yep- 7.  Brenner and Darius' half brothers were here for the summer.  They got to see some of the sites and swim in the local pools.  It kept us all really busy, especially Mom!  Time passed fast enough though, and they were soon back in Utah.  The end of the summer had a huge surprise for us.  Brenner and Darius' dad made a plea deal.  No one called to speak with us first. The Scotts Bluff County Attorney, Doug Warner, has a proven record of not standing up for abused children.  And that seemed to hold true in our case.  Without even talking to me to see how Brenner was, he allowed Nathan to plea to Intentional Child Abuse WITHOUT Serious Injury.  It was devastating to all of us.  But our fight wouldn't end there.

The Miracle Continues

Brenner had another round of follow-up appointments this week at The Children's Hospital in Aurora, Colorado.  He had an MRI.  It showed that the fluid spaces in his brain had emptied out and his brain is normal again.  Neurosurgery is really happy with his progress and the functioning of his shunts.  Neurology is ecstatic about his development and the fact that he has never had a single seizure.  Ophthalmology gave us the news we have been waiting for.  The blood in his eyes is finally gone!  He still has excess fluid in his left eye.  This makes it hard to see what, if any, damage was done to the macula.  There is some worry that because the left eye was more traumatized than the right that it may not work as well and Brenner may develop amblyopia.  We are supposed to patch his right eye for an hour every day to force his left eye to work hard and stay active.  All in all, it was great news all around.  We have follow ups in a month with ophthalmology and in 3 months with neurosurgery and neurology.  We have been so greatly and truly blessed!

Following up after the follow-ups...

Sorry there aren't any pictures.  Grandma and Grandpa graciously took Brenner (and Darius, of course) to his follow-up appointments at The Children's Hospital in Colorado so I could go to work today and continue to make an income to support this crazy little family.  So I don't have any pictures.  In fact, Grandma, Grandpa and BrennIus are still on their way home from Colorado.  I just spoke to my mom on the phone earlier today and got the update and so I am passing it on to all of you.

First, the ophthalmologist-  Brenner still has blood in his eyes.  That is the less than happy news.  The good news is that there are no longer big clots or large pools of blood.  So it would seem that the situation is resolving itself, even though it is taking a lot longer than they typically see in kids with this situation.  Surgery poses risks, some of which could effect the vision, so the plan is to continue to wait and see.  I am getting really sick of hearing that.  But I am determined to take the good out of that and go with it.

Next, neurosurgery- The expectation after shunts are placed is that the head circumference measurement will level out, stop jump up.  Brenner's fell back down into the curve it had previously been on.  So the results were better than expected.  However, the faster than normal evacuation of fluid from his head has caused the bones of his skull to somewhat collapse together and overlap.  There are situations in which this also can cause problems.  Thankfully, Brenner's surgeon doesn't seem to think that Brenner will have any of those problems.  He also thinks that the rapid brain growth in babies this age may help to push the bones back into place and reshape his head.  But he thinks that Brenner's head will always be at least a little misshapen.

We just continue on day after day, always realizing that the good things are amazing blessings. 

April 2

So... I'm a little behind.  Can you blame me?  Grandma and Grandpa graciously took Brenner back to The Children's Hospital in Colorado for me on April 2nd to have his eyes checked again.  Dr. Braverman felt like the clots in his eyes remaining from the hemorrhaging were getting smaller.  She didn't want to refer us for surgery, so we wait.  Brenner has to see his neurosurgeon on April 23rd, so we tried to get an appointment for our opthamology recheck then.  They were less than helpful in arranging that, but after some pressure, I finally got it worked out.  So our next check ups will be the end of this month- hoping for more good news.

And then the stuff really hit the fan...

Brenner had an EEG which was normal (YAY!!!!).  His neurologist said we could wean him off his seizure med (YAY!!!!!!).  He was concerned about the big increase in Brenner's head size.  He said to see what neurosurgery said,but if they weren't concerned, to follow up sooner with him.  So... off to neurosurgery.  And THEY were concerned about the huge jump in Brenner's head size.  Brenner got an MRI.  It showed marked increases in the fluid spaces in his brain.  His brain was starting to "flatten out".  It was under pressure.  Brenner needed cranial-peritoneal shunts placed.  Because we were from out of town, they would admit us and do the surgery in the morning.  He would be safe to go the weekend and come back the beginning of the week to have it done if that worked better for me.  I decided to just stay (for a handful of reasons).  So we waited in the main lobby for 2 hours while they found us a room) and then we were admitted.  Brenner ended up going almost 24 hours without eating!  But he was so pleasant about it and the surgery went as well as could be expected.  His head already looks smaller to me.  I am hoping this makes it easier for him to lift his head and decreases the number of headaches he has.  We had to stay over night so Brenner could get 3 doses of IV antibiotics over 24 hours.  We are home now and trying to recoup.  We have follow-ups with the neurosurgeon in a month and with the neurologist in 2 months. 

Back to Denver

Brenner had 5 appointments at The Children's Hospital in Aurora Colorado.  We left here Wednesday around 9 AM.  The van started having problems just outside Cheyenne Wyoming around 11 AM.  After a quick evaluation and being told the van was not safe to drive to Denver, I rented a car and we got back on the interstate.  We were about 20 minutes late to our opthamology appointment, but I had called them around 11:45 and they said they would work us in when we got there.  Unfortunately, the news was not so great.  Brenner still has macular boat hemorrhages in both eyes.  Generally, hemorrhages reabsorb in 2-4 weeks.  It's been 4 weeks.  They want to see us back in 1-2 weeks (our appointment is April 2nd).  If the blood clots are still there, we have to go see the retina specialist to see if they can do surgery to remove them.